Wednesday, 8 September 2010

Hi, I'm Dr. Thunder. What's your f*cking name, you little ****?

Maybe I'm getting old. Maybe the kids are getting a bit more ballsy. Maybe it's a bit of both!

This week I've been sworn at more in a single shift than ever before. This was a 10 hour paediatric emergency department stint, and there were 3 "incidents".

Normally a single episode of paediatric-potty-mouth is something you remember for a considerable amount of time, as it's reasonably uncommon. But maybe things are changing.

Episode one: I was putting a drip into an 11 year old. It went in nicely. Job done. Poor guy was a bit traumatised by the experienced, and when he regained his composure he screamed "Jesus fucking Christ, doc, that was fucking painful".

Episode 2: Another drip, this tie in a 9 year old girl. As it was going in, she screamed "SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT" continuously. When it was all done, she turned around, with a big happy smile on her face and said "Thank you doctor", and started behaving exactly like a 9 year old girl should.

Episode 3: A teenager who just didn't want to be in the hospital. I came to speak to him, and he just ignored me. I asked his name. Nothing. Not a word. This wasn't unusual teenage behaviour, and it's relatively common. His mother got involved, and napped at him.."TALK TO THE DOCTOR NOW!". In frustration, He shouted "For F*CK sake, my name is Joe*. Happy now????".

You have to laugh, in all honesty. These are scared kids, who are all sick. It's a tough life being an unwell child. But I know I'd have felt an awful lot unwell if I'd sworn at an adult in front of my parents when I was their age!

But, as much as I'm supposed to be disgusted, they were the 3 most amusing interaction of the day :D

*Not his real name, obviously.


  1. Love it! I help out in the outpatients of a central children's hospital, and it's fair to say at times the language would make a sailor blush, although I have to admit to nearly splitting my ribs hearing a small girl swearing like a trooper as a Dr set her leg in a cast. She looked so angelic with her mouth shut :D

  2. LOL Great stuff!

    And, I bet your parents never swore like that in front of you either.

    My guess is that a lot of kids these days are simply replicating how their parents behave.

    You'd never hear a child swearing like that in Ireland, of course ;-)

  3. @anonymous: I think the angelic ones who go nuts during a procedure are the ones who make you laugh the most. Plus watching their parents horror gives me an extra giggle.

    @STeph: I think you're right. My folks never swore in font of me. In fact I never knew how much of a potty mouth my dad was until I saw him at work with the boys when I was a teenager.